Family photoshoots are a great way to document the growth of your children, celebrate important milestones, and create lifelong memories… but what do you do if your partner doesn’t see it that way?
Lots of individuals don’t love having their pictures taken, and I know that this can present a challenge when it comes to taking family photos. While some partners will still agree to the idea just to make their other half happy, others will drag their feet to the shoot or refuse to go altogether. This is no fun for anyone, nor does it photograph well, but luckily I have a few tricks up my sleeve!
Before I dive into some of the most common reasons that your partner may give for not wanting to take family photos and share my advice for responding to their hesitations, I want to stress the importance of keeping this conversation POSITIVE. No one likes a negative Nancy.
Seriously though, how you broach the subject and speak about it with your spouse will make a HUGE difference in how they react. Rather than guilt-tripping your partner into a shoot and risking a heated discussion, listen to their concerns and explain the value of having family photos. Although it may seem like they're just being difficult, they most likely have their reasons.
So, let's get into it!
SCENARIO #1
Partner: It’s too expensive.
Life is expensive, we get it. If your partner isn’t keen on paying for a family photoshoot, chances are they don't intrinsically understand the value of photography. You should, therefore, communicate the importance of having family photos and give them some gentle reminders about their own splurges, in a very non-confrontational way of course. When they realize that they spend twice as much money on hiking gear, it may help them to put things into perspective.
I would also suggest writing up a financial plan to curb any remaining worries. Show them exactly how it will fit into your budget and identify some areas where you can cut back if needed. By telling them that you're willing to skip your weekend ski trip for the shoot, they'll not only feel better about your finances, but it'll also help to drive the importance of the photoshoot home.
To soften the blow even further, let them know that bundles and other discounts are available, which will make the session(s) even more affordable. The initial deposit also helps to break up the payments! You can find my bundles here and when you sign up for my newsletter, you’ll also receive a $50 voucher for your first session with me. Every little bit helps!
SCENARIO #2
Partner: I don't see the value of it.
When it comes down to it, the value of a family photoshoot is priceless... it sounds like your partner just needs some help to realize that themselves. Here are a few pointers!
Remind them that photos and memories last a lifetime. Family photoshoots are a great way to document major milestones, bond with one another, and capture moments in time that may otherwise be forgotten.
Mention how quickly your kids grow up. It's always fun to look back on the cute childhood years, both for you and your kids. These photos are something that everyone will appreciate having for years to come.
Speaking of your kids, I believe that is who your family photos are truly for in the long run.
My parents divorced when I was 5 years old and when I look back on photos of us when I was under 5 years old it melts my heart as I know I was born into a loving family. Even though it didn't last. But because of their separation, I cherish those photos even more.
Convey that we never know what life will throw at us... it's short, unpredictable, and sometimes unfair. Take advantage of the here and now so that you don't end up regretting it later.
I can't tell you how many emails I have received thanking me for the photos I took as shortly after their loved one passed away...unexpectedly or from a health issue. Heartbreaking.
SCENARIO #3
Partner: I’m not comfortable in front of the camera.
First things first, do NOT make your partner feel bad for being a little camera-shy. Lots of people are... if that's not an issue for you, consider yourself lucky! Instead of harping on the fact that they're uncomfortable, go out of your way to MAKE them comfortable.
Some people simply don’t know how to act in front of a camera, others feel insecure about their body, their clothing, or their overall appearance. Then there's also the fear of the unknown... all of the 'what-ifs'. To calm your partner's nerves, I highly suggest looking at my website together - get to know me a little bit beforehand to ease those nerves!
You can read my testimonials, watch any videos of mine, scroll through some of my previous work, and better figure out what a photoshoot entails. I'm super FUN, if I do say so myself, and I direct a lot during my sessions so don't worry about that! I'm also happy to answer any questions by email or Skype beforehand... I promise I don't bite!!
It can also be smart to set up an activity-based photoshoot. Think about what your partner enjoys doing with your kids! Science says that couples like to PLAY, and so do families. In fact, playfulness and the ability to have fun are consistently ranked as two of the most attractive personality traits for long-term partners. The more you know!
Have the photoshoot somewhere FUN and choose an activity that makes everyone feel at ease. Maybe a sunflower field, an amusement park, or a pumpkin patch will do the trick. That way, you can phrase it more so like a fun family outing and less so like a photoshoot - you’re PLAYING, not posing!!
Don’t you just love the look of fun and playful candid photos?? I know I do!
SCENARIO #4
Partner: I don’t have time. It doesn’t fit in with my schedule.
Let’s face it, they can find the time… the problem is they don't want to. This is often a cover for one of the previous three reasons, but DON’T call their bluff. Make a point to sit down with your partner and their schedule to find a time that works for both of you.
If and when you sense their hesitation, take the opportunity to open the dialogue. Hear them out, then respond to their concerns and emphasize the importance of this photoshoot - to you, to them, to your family, to future generations. Chances are they'll get on board once they better understand the value of having family photos.
Last but not least, here are three easy steps to help you figure out the REAL reason why your partner is having a hard time agreeing to a family photoshoot:
Imagine how your partner is feeling, put yourself in their shoes.
Empathize with your partner, view things as objectively as possible.
Listen to your partner, let them pour out all their worries.
Once you find common ground, it will be easier to come to an agreement.
One other random thing -
Bring this up if you feel you need just a little more 'ammo', but avoid sounding guilt trippy about it!!
Think of your kids, how much would THEY like to see photos of their family all together when you were pregnant with them, whey they were a baby, with their whole family together!? Would you like to see those photos of your parents and YOU? Bet ya $10 bucks ya would! Not to sound harsh lol but these photos are not just for you, they are for your family, your kids..10, 20, 50 years down the road! It's documentation of your amazing family now...for later!! :))
SUMMARY
Partner: It’s too expensive.
You: It's important to me. You splurge on X, Y, and Z. Let's write up a financial plan. Bundles and discounts are available too.
Partner: I don't see the value of it.
You: Photos last a lifetime. The kids will appreciate looking back on them when they're older. You also never know what will happen. Essentially, the value is priceless.
Partner: I’m not comfortable in front of the camera.
You: What can I do to make you comfortable? Talk to me. Let's look at Laura-Lee's website together. We can even set up an activity-based photoshoot!
Partner: I don’t have time. It doesn’t fit in with my schedule.
You: Tell me what you're actually concerned about. We can work through this together. I want you to recognize the value of this photoshoot, for all of us.
At the end of the day, you know best what will and what won’t work for your partner.
Good luck!!
:)
LL
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